By now you’ve probably seen the discourse around expensive, extravagant and over-the-top bachelorette parties. They’ve become a cultural flashpoint: luxury destination weekends, elaborate theme requirements, color-coordinated outfits, itineraries packed from 8 a.m. to 2 a.m. There are Reddit threads, viral TikToks, and think pieces about the financial and emotional toll of being invited to one. And a lot of the criticism is fair.

But as someone who loves an excuse to celebrate and values new experiences, I don’t think the answer is to abolish the bachelorette party. I think the answer is to plan a better one.

Here’s how this one started: she wasn’t going to have a bachelorette party at all. My friend, the bride-to-be, is the kind of person who would happily skip the fanfare and go straight to being married. So I did what any good friend would do: I encouraged her to pick a destination and offered to do all the planning. The catch was that I had to make it actually worth her while. No stress, no over-the-top expectations, nothing that would make her feel like a burden to the people she loves.

Six girls. One long weekend. New Orleans in April. That was the whole brief.

Why It Doesn’t Have to Be a Big Production

The bachelorette party discourse tends to focus on extremes: the wildly expensive ones that cause genuine financial strain, or the ones with such rigid themes that guests feel more like props than people. What gets lost in that conversation is the middle ground: a trip that’s fun, celebratory, and scaled to the people in the room.

A few things I’ve come to believe about planning these well:

Know your audience. A party that’s perfect for one bride would be a nightmare for another. Before you book anything, get honest about who she actually is and what she’d actually enjoy — not the version of a bachelorette party that looks good on Instagram.

Talk about money. Transparency early saves friendships later. Talk to the bride about her expectations and poll the group (individually) on what they’d feel comfortable spending. How will food and drinks in the house be split? What’s the bride responsible for? This looks different for everyone and that’s okay.

Leave room to breathe. The overpacked itinerary is one of the biggest mistakes in bachelorette (or any group trip) planning. People need time to wander, to sit somewhere and talk, to be a little spontaneous. That’s where introverts recover and extroverts have freedom to explore.

The Trip

The ladies arrived in New Orleans on a Thursday and left Sunday — long enough to feel unhurried, short enough that no one ran out of steam. April was a deliberate choice. New Orleans in late spring is magic: warm enough to live outside, but before the city tips into the thick, sweltering humidity it’s known for closer to summer. We had perfect weather all weekend, the kind that makes it comfortable to explore the city on foot.

The Details

I arrived a day early so I could set up without rushing, which made a huge difference. Months before the trip I sent around a Google Form asking everyone their favorite snacks and drinks, so when I had groceries delivered from Whole Foods, nothing was a guess.

My favorite detail were the pearl balloons delivered from a local New Orleans business called Party Stop, with pink and orange ribbons I cut and attached myself. It was an easy way to elevate the vibe.

Never underestimate the power of printed photos! Leading up to the trip, I asked all the women to send me photos of them with the bride over the years. I laid these around the spritz bar as decor and she got to keep them all at the end of the trip.

I Ubered to Whole Foods to snag pink, orange and white flower arrangements right as the bride landed in New Orleans. I designed a spritz bar sign on Canva and brought a frame (minus the glass) I picked up from TJ Maxx. I also grabbed some cute floral napkins while I was there because why not?

I also recycled a lot of party decor I’ve collected over the years, which kept costs down without sacrificing the look. Things like confetti, decorative butterflies, gold garland that I reuse for every party I host. A bridal veil, sunglasses and a headband rounded out the bride’s accessories for the weekend.

Nothing over the top, nothing that required a big budget or a party rental company. Just a few well-chosen things that made the space feel like the weekend was actually for her.

The bride wanted a spa night for the last evening, so I supplied face masks, headbands, lip masks and sleep masks. They were the perfect pop of color!

The Weekend

Thursday night we settled into the Airbnb and kept it low key with a game night. One of the girls made a silly Mad Libs sheet for us to fill out, and worked with the groom ahead of time to put together a newlywed game with his video responses using Canva. It ended up being the bride’s favorite part of the whole weekend. The kind of thing that costs nothing and means everything.

Friday was the heart of it. We made brunch and Aperol spritzes at home, then headed to the New Orleans Botanical Garden, did an oyster happy hour at Superior Seafood, and went to dinner at Jack Rose. After dinner, a few of the girls went out to The Spotted Cat for live music.

Saturday we did afternoon tea at the Ritz and went to French Quarter Fest (we decided to go the day before.) Then, everyone kind of did their own thing for a few hours, which sounds chaotic but actually worked perfectly for a small group of adults who know how to be in a city. We finished the weekend with a spa night at home, while a few ladies learned how to play Mahjong.

The Takeaway

The bride, who again didn’t even want a party, ended up having a really good time. She got to celebrate herself, be with her sister and friends, and just exist in a beautiful city for a few days.

Bachelorette parties don’t have to be stressful or expensive or overwhelming. They just need a little intention. Know who you’re celebrating, be upfront about cost early, and don’t overpack the itinerary. The best moments of the weekend weren’t the planned ones anyway.

After three years leading Tigers for Tigers at Clemson and a fourth spent building the national coalition, I’d grown a skill set I was eager to keep using. I missed the organizational development, the community building, the work of bringing people together around something they cared about. So when I discovered the Clemson Young Alumni of Charleston, I showed up ready to contribute.

Not long after I joined, the president of the organization stepped away. And just like that, the org needed someone to step up.

So I did.

Your Network Is Your Starting Line

I didn’t have a strategic plan or a playbook. What I had was a genuine love for the Clemson community, a group of friends who felt the same way, and a strong instinct for how to get people in a room.

I started there: texting people I knew, getting friends to bring friends, and thinking carefully about who to invite. I didn’t just reach out to alumni. I invited anyone I knew who loved a good time, because I understood that energy is contagious and turnout matters. I also started promoting events on Facebook, inviting as many people as possible (reach is vital) and making sure every post had a clear reason to show up.

Clemson has one of the most passionate alumni bases in the country, so you might assume that the fanbase does the work for you. But that’s not how community works. A shared identity gets people interested. What gets them in the room is knowing it’ll be worth their time. From the very beginning, that was the standard I held every event to.

The results were immediate. That first watch party I helped organize drew 80 attendees. To put that in context, watch parties before I joined were averaging 12 people. Same concept, same city, same fanbase, just a different approach to outreach, promotion, and energy.

That gap, 12 versus 80, told me something important: the community was out there and ready to get involved. It just needed someone willing to go find it.

Ready or Not

For most of 2016 and into 2017, I served as Vice President, supporting the President and learning the operational side of running this tiny team. I planned three events that year, got comfortable with logistics and promotion, and started building the social media presence that would become a real asset for the org.

Then, midway through 2017, our President left the organization.

At that point, I had two choices: let the org go dormant, or take the wheel. I became President and immediately started thinking about what it would take to not just keep things running, but actually grow: the events, the community, and the team behind it all.

Building a Team That Wants to Be There

The hardest part of leading a volunteer organization isn’t planning events; it’s finding people who care enough to show up consistently, not just as attendees, but as contributors.

I drew on the grassroots instincts I’d developed over years of community building: reaching out personally, being honest about what I needed help with, and making it easy for people to say yes to small commitments first.

One of my biggest wins came in 2018, when a recent Clemson grad named Zach reached out to me asking how he could get involved. He took on budget management, helped me bring in more people, and became an indispensable partner in everything we did.

Over the next two years, we grew the leadership team from just myself to about six people. Our roles weren’t rigidly defined; we worked collaboratively, with everyone pitching in based on their strengths and availability. Some members focused on coordinating with local businesses and venue contacts. Others helped with volunteer organization outreach. Everyone helped spread the word and invite people to events. We held regular meetings to stay aligned, talk through challenges, and make decisions together.

That collaborative culture was intentional. Volunteer organizations live or die by whether people feel ownership. I wanted a team that genuinely wanted to be there, and that meant creating space for people to contribute in ways that felt meaningful to them.

The Numbers That Mattered

By 2018, my first full year as President, we had gone from 3 events annually to 8 in a single year. We were hosting networking happy hours, football watch parties, volunteer days, and our flagship annual event: a 4th of July harbor cruise that became the highlight of the young Clemson grads’ social calendar.

The harbor cruise alone grew from roughly 60 attendees in 2017 to 120 in 2018, double the turnout in a single year. Meanwhile, our Facebook following more than doubled over my tenure, and in 2019 I launched an Instagram account from scratch that grew to 185 followers within its first year.

None of that happened because of a big budget or a formal infrastructure. It happened because we built genuine relationships, showed up consistently, created content that connected, and made events people actually wanted to attend.

What Four Years Taught Me

Running the Clemson Young Alumni of Charleston for four years taught me that community doesn’t happen by accident. It takes someone willing to do the unglamorous work: the follow-up messages, the event flyers, the volunteer coordination, the last-minute venue changes, the conversations that don’t scale but matter anyway.

It also taught me that the best communities aren’t built top-down. They grow when people feel ownership, when they’re not just attendees, but contributors. My job was never to be the center of the community. It was to create the conditions for other people to find their place in it.

It’s the work that comes naturally to me, and the work I do best.

Squarespace and Canva are great tools, especially for a communications professional like myself. They both take care of the technical work that feels intimidating and offer more template options than you’d ever need. Normally, I’d welcome that route for a more technical project. But having a personal website wasn’t really the point. I built it because I thought it would be good practice before building an app I’ve been conceptualizing over the last few months. So instead of picking a template, I decided to build carrahlingo.com from scratch with Claude Code as my collaborator.

I approached Claude Code the way I’d approach a software developer or graphic designer at my company. I organized my thoughts, came in with a vision, and collaborated from there.

A few benefits of creating my personal website in no particular order:

Being productive while job searching. I’m between jobs, and instead of letting that time slip by, I wanted to channel it into something productive.

Feeling fulfilled with a creative project. Unemployment can mess with your sense of purpose. I needed something to build, shape and be proud of.

Getting hands-on experience with Claude Code. I’ll admit I’ve been skeptical about AI, mostly around its environmental impact. But it’s here, it’s embedded in the corporate world, and I prioritize using it for high impact projects.

What Is Claude Code?

Claude Code is an AI assistant made by Anthropic that lives right in your computer’s terminal (that black screen with the blinking cursor you’ve probably seen developers use.) Luckily for me, you don’t need to be a developer to use it. You talk to it in plain English, describe what you want, and it writes the code for you. It can build pages, fix bugs, tweak designs, and iterate on ideas through conversation.

Step 1: Start with a Vision

The vision for my site came to me pretty quickly. I knew I wanted to incorporate an interior design element and display the dichotomy of work and play projects. I wanted my website to feel like you were stepping into a curated space rather than scrolling through a standard portfolio. I played around with concepts in Canva first, sketching out what the vibe might look like.

I kept coming back to this idea of a personal workspace where visitors could see what I’m working on, what I’m into, and who I am. From there, the shelf concept took shape: what if my Work and Play pages were organized like actual shelves, with projects and hobbies displayed the way you’d arrange things in your office or living room?

I had the vision. I just had no idea how easily Claude would be able to execute it.

Step 2: Get Set Up

Before I could start building anything, I needed to acquire the appropriate tools. This meant creating a GitHub account (where the site’s code would live), downloading VS Code (the code editor), and installing Ghostty (my terminal of choice). I also set up a Claude account and got Claude Code running in my terminal. If you’re coming from a world of Squarespace, Canva and Google Docs, this step is where it starts to feel real. You’re actually entering the “building things with code” world and it feels like you’re hacking into the mainframe (lol).

From there, Claude helped me get started with Jekyll, a tool that turns simple text files into a full website, and GitHub Pages, which hosts it for free at your own custom domain.

Within a couple of conversations, we had the bones of a site: a homepage, a navigation bar, and a place for blog posts. The first time I saw my site live at carrahlingo.com I felt giddy. There’s something powerful about seeing your name in the URL bar and knowing you built what’s behind it.

Step 3: Design It Your Way

This is where the collaboration really came alive. I would describe what I was picturing, sometimes in detailed text, sometimes with a screenshot, and Claude would build it. Then I’d look at the result, say what I liked, what felt off, and we’d keep going.

The homepage desk scene came together over several rounds of back and forth. The shelves on my Work and Play pages went through iterations until the spacing and layout felt right. A few must-haves during this process are patience, thoughtful prompting, and focusing on one chunk at a time. Claude can (and will) get overwhelmed if you are disorganized and try to do too much at once.

Step 4: Decide What’s Important & Add Content

Once the structure was in place, adding content took some time. Blog posts, my resume, podcast links, magazine features. Each element needs to be well thought out and clean.

Some of my favorite additions came later in the process. I added slideshows to feature some magazine features I’d written and to display the Tigers for Tigers Student Resource Guide I helped create. I reorganized the shelf layouts as my priorities shifted. I added a plant, a lava lamp you can turn on with a click, and other little details to make the space feel lived in.

Step 5: Launch It

Launching was exciting. Setting up my custom domain took one conversation with Claude and a quick update to my domain settings, and just like that, carrahlingo.com was live. I immediately started sharing the link with a bunch of friends. I was genuinely proud of what I’d built and wanted people to see it.

Of course, launching didn’t mean I was done. I kept editing and fine-tuning for the next couple of weeks. I was adjusting layouts, swapping out content, and tweaking little details that only I would notice. That’s one of the best parts about building your own site: it’s never really “finished.”

Would I Recommend It?

If you need a professional site up and running quickly and you’re not pressed about it being unique, Squarespace and friends will serve you well. No shame in that.

But if you’re someone who cares about the details, if you have a vision for what your space on the internet should look and feel like, this approach is incredibly rewarding. It takes more time than picking a template (it took me about two full weeks from start to finish for the first iteration.) It requires patience and thoughtfulness. But the end result is something that’s uniquely yours, and the process teaches you things you’ll carry forward. Like the fact that you don’t need to be a developer to build something custom, that AI is most powerful when you bring the creative direction, and that understanding how your site works, even at a high level, is empowering.

I started this project not knowing what a Jekyll file was. I ended it with a live website, a growing blog, and the confidence to keep building. I’m excited to get started on my app next, so stay tuned for updates here as I dive into my biggest endeavor yet.

In October of last year, I presented on behalf of The Cadmus Group to a group of IT leaders in the federal government. Like everyone else, these leaders face the challenge of too many meetings with little to no time for deep work — a necessity in the IT space. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive, with many leaders committing to reducing meetings as a priority.

Here’s a snippet of what I shared with them and what you can start applying today.

Meetings by the Numbers

First, some fascinating (yet somewhat predictable) numbers I discovered through my research on meeting management:

• 68% of employees say they don’t have enough uninterrupted focus time during the workday. (Harvard Business Review)
• The no-participation rate for small group virtual meetings increased to 7.2% in 2023, up from 4.8% in 2022. HBR notes this number is likely higher due to people coming off mute to say “hello!” with no further participation. (Harvard Business Review)
• The cost of no-participation meeting attendance in 2023 was $19.1 million — a staggering $8.9 million increase from 2022. (Harvard Business Review)
• Managers in one survey reported 83% of meetings on their calendars were unproductive. (Harvard Business Review)

For a deeper dive into why we default to so many meetings, I recommend The Psychology Behind Meeting Overload by Ashley Whillans, Dave Feldman, and Damian Wisniewski. Here’s what you can do about it.

1. Listen to this 27-minute podcast

How To Be Less Distracted at Work — and in Life is step number one. During your workout, on your commute, over your lunch break — slap on those headphones and take a few notes.

2. Block time off for deep work on your calendar

I try to do this every Monday once I’ve made my to-do list for the week. As bigger projects come up or delays occur, I work them into the next week as well. Be realistic with this at first — don’t try to reserve several hours a week if your calendar is already packed. Start with 2-3 hours a week and go from there.

3. Identify your distractions

You’ll understand this better once you’ve completed step one. We must understand what our distractions are by first determining our triggers. Chats, emails, and scrolling our phone are all examples of distractions, but if we can master our internal triggers we can conquer our distractions.

4. Determine how to address your distractions

Do you need to put an away message on Teams for deep work? Should you frontload deep work at the beginning of your day? What about leaving your phone in another room until lunchtime? Depending on your role and industry, these may not all work for you. But I assure you, there is something you can do differently.

5. Perform a meeting audit

Which meetings are most effective? Can any recurring meetings be shortened? Which ones can occur less frequently? Can people who play the same role take turns attending? These are just a few questions you can ask yourself to get started.

A lot of the work I do as a Consultant at The Cadmus Group centers around improving employee engagement in the federal government space.

A question that we advised on before the pandemic and continue to tackle after is: how can large, geographically diverse organizations get employees excited about engaging with each other in a hybrid working environment? (Especially when your clients don’t have the budgets for fancy team lunches or in-person outings like a lot of companies in the private sector do!)

You start by employing the tools that are already available to you, and then you get strategic about communicating. Our team at Cadmus Group pitched a “Virtual Watercooler” utilizing Microsoft Teams to our Internal Revenue Service (IRS) Information Technology (IT) client. Within the first three months of the launch, we tripled engagement within the “Virtual Watercooler” Teams channel. Here’s how you can do it, too.

1. Define the purpose of the virtual watercooler

As an example: “Our Teams channel is a virtual gathering place for employees to celebrate work accomplishments, share life events, and build relationships within the organization.”

2. Educate leadership about its value

Employees who feel connected at work are more likely to recommend their company to others and are less likely to leave their jobs. In addition to recruitment and retention, the ripple effects of a virtual watercooler can lead to an improved workplace culture, increased productivity, and a happier workforce.

3. Develop a step-by-step guide for implementation

To ensure a seamless implementation of the virtual watercooler, design a step-by-step guide that lays out the following:

• Objective/purpose (step 1)
• How to set it up in Teams
• How to maintain it (SLAs or protocols for community monitoring)
• 12 monthly sample prompts to ensure minimum engagement once a month

4. Announce the virtual watercooler!

A successful launch of the Teams channel will largely depend on how well and how frequently it’s communicated to potential users. Create a mini communications campaign for the first couple weeks including:

• Sharing the step-by-step guide with the leadership team
• Sending an email from a chief executive or sponsor announcing the launch (including a link to the channel)
• Encouraging managers to talk about the launch in meetings with employees

5. Practice what you preach

Lastly, leadership should set an example and post to the virtual watercooler. Managers are encouraged to take turns posting once a month, in addition to engaging with posts by reacting to them or leaving comments.

Sharing photos of your weekend plans, asking valuable questions, and planning in-office meet ups are excellent ways to get the conversation going beyond operations. Meaningful engagement will be the key to making it a place employees will actually want to visit and contribute to.

It will take some time for folks to get used to the new space, but with consistency and meaningful engagements, it’ll be an employee favorite in no time!

Set the Vibe

We had a groovy California vibe to our party that matched my personal taste as well as the interior design of our rooftop lounge. At the entrance, guests were encouraged to choose from a pair of retro sunglasses (both these and the tablecloth were purchased on Amazon) to complement their look.

I had a goal to reduce waste, so I tried to order things we’d actually use again. We still have some matchbooks (purchased on Etsy) in our bathroom today! We rented vintage coolers for all the beer, seltzers and non-alcoholic drinks, and the baskets were repurposed from our West Elm wedding registry.

Support Local

Since it was our first year in D.C., we wanted to share some of our favorite local spots with our friends. Grand Cata, a Latin American wine shop around the corner from our place, poured wine throughout the night. Andy’s Pizza kept everyone fed, and Dolci Gelati served gelato for dessert.

Let the Party Happen

Our rooftop had a capacity of 100 people, which helped us keep our guest list intentional while including friends from all phases of life. It ended up raining all night, so we were limited to the inside space for most of the time. We tasked a few friends with taking Polaroid photos throughout the night so we could make a party book. It was a cute way to get people to mix and mingle.

Debut Your Wedding Video

At sunset we fired up the projector and debuted our wedding video, filmed by Quail & the Dove, for the first time. Tears, laughter, and a gorgeous sunset backdrop. It was the highlight of the night.

Close with Toasts

Toasts were important to us, and we knew our friends would deliver the perfect balance of comedic timing with heartfelt words. Ryan’s best friend Alan (who he met at a Radiohead concert) and Carrah’s best friend since middle school Madeline opened the toasts, and they were incredibly original, sweet, and hilarious.

Carrah’s bestie (and Life & the Party podcast co-host) Katie closed out the toasts, and it was a banger. We laughed, we cried, and we laughed so hard that we cried. Toasts were the perfect way to end the night, and if you’re considering skipping the traditional route, do it… and throw a party that feels like you.

Vendors

• Venue: City Market at O
• Wine: Grand Cata
• Pizza: Andy’s Pizza
• Appetizers & Snacks: Whole Foods
• Gelato: Dolci Gelati
• Cooler & Connect 4 Rentals: Something Vintage
• Photography: Ruth Addisu

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History buffs and Lowcountry locals might find my latest PowerSource feature interesting!

I spent a day at the Berkeley County Museum & Heritage Center to check out their new “The Revolution Comes South” exhibit, learn about nurse-midwife Maude Callen, and visit with Museum Director Chelsy Proper.

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I have been waiting months to share this PowerSource feature I wrote highlighting Terry Stinson and Monique Washington at Santee Cooper.

Please take a few minutes to read about these two amazing women’s determination for success and the challenges they’ve had to overcome to get there.

This story first appeared in The Community Times Magazine in its Dec.-Jan. 2020-2021 issue.

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I had the opportunity to contribute to the writing, editing, and design of the National Tigers for Tigers Coalition Resource Guide — a handbook we shipped out to our student organizations across the country. It covers everything from managing finances and recruiting members to advocating to Congress and fundraising, all with the goal of helping campus clubs grow and thrive. It was a true team effort and one of those projects I’m really proud to have been a part of.